And so it begins...

This dream of creating a work of art by the community for the community has been building since late January of this year. I received a grant for the project in April, started promoting the project in early May, and have been vigorously doing out reach and spreading the word of the work I'm doing for 5 months.

All the time and energy has paid off. To say that I am excited is an understatement. I have in my possession 850 community submitted Smith Rock photos spanning several decades, and next is the huge task of putting them all together on three boards totaling 32 square feet. Did I mention I'm excited!? Because I'm really excited!   

Over the next month I'll be spending a lot of time in my studio, printing the photos, arranging them on my boards, and chances are drinking a fair bit of wine. 

Thank you to everyone who has submitted photos I cannot wait to share this process with you!  

Official West Face Variation Trip Report!

“Breathe. Breathe. Just breathe,” I say to myself in a reassuring loop as I get frustrated and scared trying to place an orange number 3 cam in the crack, my legs shaking and tired.  “Breathe.” My breath is one of those simple things I constantly take for granted when I’m at dirt level. “Breathe.” I let my body relax, soften my focus, slow down, and gently arrange the cam back to its happy place. I am on the second pitch of the West Face Variation on the Monkey Face and this is the first time I have ever lead a trad climb in it’s entirety from ground to summit. That orange cam I was freaking out over was a good placement before I started messing with it and shaking myself silly. I’m still learning.

I make it to Bohn Street and belay my boyfriend Mike up to me. He’s one of my favorite climbing partners. Mike knows when to shout encouragement, when to keep his lips zipped, and makes me feel strong and powerful on the sharp end. When he reaches me at the belay station, he gives me a positive critique on my pieces, and takes a seat next to me in the bright spring sun. It’s empowering to switch roles. Normally I’m following Mike up the harder trad pitches, or we will swing leads on sport climbs, but this is new territory for both of us.

The next two pitches are challenging for different reasons. The aid ladder that leaves Bohn Street and finishes in the Monkey’s mouth is an exhausting cluster of webbing, draws, beaners and cursing topped off with a not-so-graceful flop to the anchors. The next pitch, aptly named “panic point,” is a highly-exposed, airy sport-pitch to the nose block of the Monkey. This is where breathing comes in handy again. The climbing isn’t difficult, but the obvious 170-foot drop to the ground out the Monkey’s mouth instantly puts my head in check. My breath and I keep our composure, though, and are blinded by the sun as we met the Monkey’s nose. One more little pitch to the summit and I had successfully lead my boyfriend up a classic route of trad, sport, and aid climbing.

At the summit, Mike laughed at me, blissed out and vibrating with joy as we soaked up my victory in the sunshine.  Before we rappelled down, I had to do a handstand on top to seal the celebration. Once our soles were joined with the dirt again, I stared back up at the Monkey. I just climbed that! I lead every pitch--all of it! I placed my own gear, got scared, took my time, trusted my pieces, and belayed up my second. I stood on the summit, was blinded by the sun, the skyline, and soaked in the warmth of my achievement. With the exception of borrowing my boyfriend’s rack, that was all me, and it felt exceptional.

I have felt empowered at other points in my life: When I sent my first highball, when I went through security at PDX to start my solo travels around the world, and when I cursed at a man in perfect Italian who had been harassing me for an hour. I think everyone wants to feel powerful. I think everyone needs that sense of invincibility with just the right dose of reality. I find that sense of empowerment by challenging gender norms, challenging cultural expectations of what I “should do,” and of course, challenging my perceptions of what I think I can do. This process of seeking empowerment is not always a smooth one. But, when I get scared, frustrated, or start to shake, all I have to do is remind myself to breathe.    

Time

Something we’re all familiar with, have our own thoughts about, use, lose, and chase. Something we love, curse, crave, and fight with. Something we try to control, try to let go of, bend, adjust and trick. There are a lot of ways to look at and think about time. According to google time is “the indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future regarded as a whole.” It’s also a measurement, plan or schedule.

My relationship with and definition of time is constantly evolving. I usually think about time in relation to a balancing act, as if I only have so many eggs I can juggle, set down, toss in the air, or hold in my hands. I’m not all that good at juggling in real life so the metaphor of juggling eggs might not be the most appropriate... But what if I was to say those eggs are plastic easter eggs with sweets inside?! That way if they drop and break open, I have one less egg and a sugary treat! Dropping too many eggs would obviously lead to a risk of diabetes, or I could take the time to set all my other eggs down and put the broken egg back together treat safely nested inside.

What I’m getting at with this very convoluted metaphor is that I have recently come to the conclusion that the perfect balancing act of time is unrealistic. Sometimes my energy will feel evenly distributed, but most of the time not and that’s okay. I have to be okay with dropping an egg once in a while and then giving it all of my attention. Right now that egg is my video project of my climb at Smith Rock.

I received a Live Your Dream grant from the American Alpine Club earlier this year and completed my climb of the West Face of the Monkey as part of my project. It was an amazing day, I got some great footage, and I have been putting all of my extra time and energy over the last week into finishing the video trip report.

Video is a whole new beast for me, and it has eaten up my entire existence since I started. However with my new found acceptance and relationship with time, I’m not beating myself up about not taking advantage of the sunshine or missing out on one climbing trip, because the summer is long and there will be more time for those things. Right now my video egg has the spotlight and I am giving it all of my attention.

I have to have these sorts of conversations with myself often, silly metaphors included, because I love to do so much in so many different directions. I want to take on as many eggs as possible! I want to participate, adventure, relax, read, celebrate, sleep, cook, paint, dance, climb, and squeeze it all into one day! Sometimes it's possible, and sometimes I have to remind myself that it's okay and that regardless of how I try to spend, use and take advantage of my time it will carry on indefinitely.   

 

Falling is Part of the Process

Falling, failing, missing the goal, shot, net, hole, hold, catch. Losing, tripping, crashing, hitting the ground, all of these things happen and all of these things are part of the process.

This last weekend was my first real trad climbing trip to Index, that’s all we did, place gear and climb cracks. Our first climb was called Aries. It’s a 3 pitch 5.8 with a wide start, a flared chimney, and a bit of a roof. All things I’m not super stoked on or good at. So I was a bit stunned by Mike’s reply when I asked him who was leading what pitches. “You’re leading all of them” he said. Shit… I’m getting more comfortable with placing gear and climbing cracks, but a lot of it still feels foreign and up until now I had never taken a fall on gear before.  

I racked my gear, started up the wide section, placed a blue number 3 cam and tried to get my fists to fit in the crack. None of this was graceful by the way. I was cursing under my breath, huffing, pissed and staring at that cam thinking “I’m totally about to take a fall on this… Fuck it! Here we go…” I groveled my way up a few moves past my piece, was smearing with my left foot and trying to find something substantial for my right, but it was awkward. I was almost there, fingers touching the hold that would secure my passage on to the ledge in front of me, and my foot popped. Falling is part of the process.

I gave a bit of a frustrated cry as my gear and Mike caught me. I sat there in my harness out of breath, frustrated, panting, and a bit excited honestly. YES! It totally holds! I mean I knew logically that cams are supposed to work, but it’s another thing entirely to have the experience of one working. I looked down and had a very nice three tiered rope burn from my ankle half way up my calf with a definite bruise and bloody knee pending. Mike was stoked, I was stoked, we laughed, I caught my breath and got to the ledge my second go. The rest of the climb was great too, I had fun in the try-hard frustrating sense, but ultimately I felt really good about my performance and my efforts.

Climbing cracks still feels like another language in many ways, but I’ve got the falling figured out so it’s only a matter of time before the rest of the equation is translated.


Weekend Warrior

Urban Dictionary has a long list of definitions for "weekend warrior." The most popular being "a person who regularly parties on weekends."  I certainly don't "party" in the traditional Urban Dictionary context, but I have my own malleable definition and try to celebrate every moment of my weekends in the fullest adventure style possible. 

To recap the month of May... 2500 trip miles, 615 photos taken, 11 days climbing outside, 4 states, 3 hot springs, 2 new phones, 1 yoga retreat, countless bruises, and more laughter then I have embraced in a very long time. My weekends, my evenings, all of my time is meant to be full of awesome! I have chosen to have what I call a big-girl job and that takes up about 40 hours a week, but there is plenty of time left over to "party!"

I'll admit it is hard sometimes to get home from a trip after midnight, unpack the car, make food for the next day, and shower only to get 5 hours of sleep and still get things accomplished on Monday. But it's worth it. It's worth it to have my ankles bruised to the point of limiting my professional foot attire, my muscles ache to the point of limited movement and my car/road-trip-rig smell to the point of limited breathing and almost embarrassment. I'm not embarrassed though and I know I'm not the only one that lives this way.

Some people like myself live many lives in a week. I have my business casual life during the weekdays and on the weekends I have my wanderlust adventure warrior life. There are moments of frustration on sunny days behind my desk, moments of anguish on rainy days hiding under rocks, and moments of chaos when I can't seem to counterbalance my two lives, but again it's worth it. I learn more and more about myself as I transition between my two lives, reflect on the importance and benefits of each, and try to grow and adjust as necessary.

So for the time being I'm stoked on my business casual/adventure warrior juggling act and since nothing is really set in stone, if I choose to take an extended trip or spend the weekend at home in my hammock that will just have to fit into my definition of "party."


About the #ConnectWithSmithRockProject

My two most prolific passions are climbing and art. I have the big dream to combine the two to promote state and national park awareness, aid in their conservation, and connect more people to their parks and resources. I also want to give back to the parks that have supported and fostered my growth as an artist and a climber.

Specifically I want to give everyone who visits Smith Rock the opportunity to be part of something bigger than themselves. Everyone from the dirtbag climber, to the weekend warrior, to the wheelchair-bound person, can share their park story and photos by using the hashtag #ConnectWithSmithRock.

The final piece will be a 4 x 8 triptych mixed-media painting similar to my Traveling Mountains piece, highlighting both the people and the place that define Smith Rock State Park. The final piece will be finished by the end of 2015 and will then be on display in Red Point for several months before it is sold and 100% of the proceeds will then go back to the park.

If you would like to participate in the project, please submit your photos telling your story of our park by using the hashtag #ConnectWithSmithRock on Instagram or publicly on Facebook so I can find your photos. If you prefer, you can also email me your photos at connectwithmeg@gmail.com. 

Live stream from the Instagram hashtag #ConnectWithSmithRock